I'm not. In denial.

Alfred thinks I am. I'm not.

I know better.

I should know better.

...

When I talked to people, it's as if he's still here. Alfred said I expect him to walk through the front door every day.

Every day.

I don't. I know he's gone.

But I keep saying gone, not dead. And I keep saying us, our. Like he'll walk in the front door.

Like he always does.

I mean people keep coming back - they do. I've seen it. But not my people. Not my-

I don't want to think he's dead.

He was there for me after my dad died. He can't be dead now. Just gone. He'll be back. They always come back.

He'll be back.

I'm not in denial.