[Tim isn't quite the perfect showman, but he's learned in his time here. The video switches on and, and Tim's smiling, weaving back and forth slightly. The reason why is clear once he moves back a bit: he's riding a unicycle, balancing easily. In his hands are a bunch of dangerous looking objects, ranging from knives to sticks. The sticks will be on fire soon.]

Uh - hi! Ladies, gentlemen, I'd like to invite you all to my amazing balancing show! You'll see death defying stunts, swords, tumbling, and lots and lots of fire. It'll be great fun - the show's starting soon, and--

[He's pausing, balancing things in his lap while he lights one of the batons. It gets tossed in the air a few times, end over end, and then he's picking another item out of his lap, a knife, and it joins the baton in the air.] I'd love to see a real crowd!